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A very wise creature named Yoda (I almost typed yoga) once said, "Do or do not.  There is no try."  I never understand the meaning of this phrase until recently.
         I started this blog to document my journey, hopefully get a good laugh and maybe inspire some.  You see the reason I haven't posted in awhile is because I finally understand what I was "doing" wrong.  In fact, I wasn't "doing" much at all, but "trying" almost too hard.  Sometimes, when you let the outcome go, things happen.  Now  I know this goes against many commonly held principles in our society.  We are told to do, do, do, until we can't do anything anymore.
         A few months ago, I adopted a new diet of whole foods, therefore, my mind has been much clearer.  It's true that I am less prone to anger. more "In the moment" and about to let things go much easier.  It's funny when I stopped concentrating on the outcome and starting to enjoy the process of cooking healthy food or learning a new yoga pose or enjoyed the taste of a simple pepper, life became enjoyable and almost easy.  As a person prone to anxiety, I often worry about the future as most do. I found that, as cliched as it sounds, just sitting there listening to my breath was a wonderful moment.
        The other day, I was sitting on a train to the city.  For some reason, I was thinking about each and every friend or ex who had ever travelled on this train with me.  And I smiled.  I have been searching for meaning, but the meaning was smacking me in the face all along.  However, not every outcome has to be this majestic fanfare.  Yes, I was no longer in any type of relationships with these people, but I remembered all the goods times we had and how each person, each interaction, each moment had shaped me.  And I thanked them.  I sat there and was grateful for those good and bad in my life.
          This is just a small example of what I have experienced over the last few months.  It is almost hard to put into words what I have experienced. But as cliched as it sounds, I have found pleasure in every day life.  I am not waiting to have more money, more time, more skills, more anything.  I am doing it right now.