The meaning of life?

        Many people ask, what's the meaning of life? In fact, I wrote a play called Dr. Ava P. Sclockenstein: Therapist for Fantastical Creatures in which the elven sprite, Fink, asks this very question.
       I don't think anyone will ever find the exact answer to this and perhaps everyone's meaning is different  However, in the last week I have noticed that I have lost sight of what makes life joyful.
       Twenty years from now, when I look back at my life am I going to say, "Hey, remember that awesome day at work?" or "Wow, remember that day, I made a ton of money?" or even "Remember that day I swept the floors or ran ten errands?"
        Yes, I would love to make more money and yes, some of these activities are inescapable and allow us to have more fun by providing financial security, but what do people really value in life?
        Relationships.  Community.  Love.  A great convo.  A funny joke.  Laughing.
       I have been so caught up in trying to "get ahead," plan for the future and make money that I really all I have been doing is worrying and planning.  And in this planning, I have lost sight of what makes life fun.

        I tried to be more conscious of this behavior and really took the rest of the week not to worry about what was on the agenda and just enjoy some time with great people.  This week I had some wonderful eye-opening conversations with my boyfriend while taking a stroll down the boardwalk.  And honestly, it was better than anything money could buy.  I went to a free brunch and bodywork event at the local nutrition/chiropractic office.  Even though I had a bit too many mimosas, I found myself really being present, letting loose and just enjoying the moment.
       Yes, we should have goals and yes I still would like to make some money, but I think I'm doing it backwards.   I don't think it makes sense to miss out on life now,  just for the future.   I think that whatever you are handed, make the most of it now. Creating abundance is your life now and relationships now will most likely lead to a fruitful life later.
       And it doesn't really cost a thing.

Little Things Beneath the Depths

Today I took a SUP yoga class at the Endless SUP Company in Belmar NJ.  SUP stands for standup paddle board and if anything is a study in yin and yang it's this.  When you do yoga on a board gliding over the water, you have to take each step slow and appreciate each movement or you could fall.  But at the same time, if you are too careful and hesitant, you may miss out on the fun because you are too afraid to fall.  It's a complete balance.
      Other than learning about balance, I noticed something while partaking in the SUP yoga class today.  As I laid on my belly on the board, I looked into the water….there I saw two different crabs and what looked like a little family of jellyfish.  The crab blended in with the rocks and the jelly fish were almost translucent. I stared at them for awhile, watching the jellyfish puff in and out and move effortlessly throughout the water.  They almost sparkled a glitter green.
      As I took the class, I kept looking over to stare at them, never noticing till today how they could almost switch between an outline of purple or green.  I was stuck on this board in the middle of Shark River, nowhere to go and nowhere to be.  And I was grateful that just for a few moments, I could witness something I would have never noticed before.
      When people think of jellyfish, they think of "stinging" and "pain" or even "gross."  In this moment, I thought of them as beautiful and even cute.  It is hard for me to deal with contrast in my life and to sometimes see the beauty in things.  But here, I saw beauty in something that sometimes deemed ugly.  And if I took one step too quick, I would have missed it. :)