One Love, Self Love

Everyone has heard the quote that you can't really love anyone till you love yourself.  I never really understood that quote till recently and it goes way beyond love relationships.
    I have also always been taught that when it comes to a job or career, one has to sacrifice everything even the self and sometimes the self worth to achieve success.  To get where you want you almost need to be a minion of others to stay out at a place of employment.  Boy, is this wrong.
    Self-love or self-respect is a hard concept because it comes across as selfish.  And in some ways sounds like it goes against zen principles.  This concept is very much misconstrued.
    At my place of employment, I have been trying to stand out in hopes of getting higher pay and a good position.  I took a position for a lot less money to get my "foot in the door" and "pay my dues." This past year, I ran myself ragged trying to impress others at the expense of my health.  I often wanted to say that I was doing too much, but was afraid of being called "weak" or "lazy."
     When time for new contracts came around, my pay was barely increased as if I could have done half the work and made the same amount.  Old me would have cowered at this and became angry.  The anger would have blinded me from living the present.  In some ways, I believed that cause  I didn't feel I had much self worth, this happened.  Instead of getting angry, I let go and decided to gain confidence.
     Through this confidence, I was able to speak up and say from a place of love that I thought I deserved more.  Whether I get it or not, the point is I feel revived.  I feel like I took fear and grabbed it by the horns.  And from now on, this is the way I choose to live my life.  All of the great books and teachers say "happiness comes from within."  Yes, we cannot control what happens in our life, but we can really control our reaction to it.  I chose to have a positive reaction and turn an issue into an opportunity.
  Since allowing myself to be confident without guilt, I applied for a scholarship/grant at Brookdale Community College for people in Hurricane Sandy affected areas looking to start or improve their small business.  This is something I always wanted to do and now was my chance!  For a second, I wanted to hide.  I was doubting my own worth.  I quickly picked myself up and said, I'm going to do it.  When you have self love, really, magical things happen.